News Crap

Bullies in the pay of the Marquis de Tabloid indoctrinate the vulnerable after dark. The bullies are paid to turn ignorant citizens into sycophants, like themselves.  Their aim is to maintain and expand the power of overly influential, pseudo-conservative egomaniacs, at the expense of real democracy. Puppet politicians collude with the bullies, having already colluded with overly influential puppeteers to fund bullying and greed with public money. The bullies, as hate-spitting enemies of reason, pretend to care about justice.  They do so by shouting superior orders into cameras.  But they only really care about themselves and their own misguided opinions.  After dark, a tiny minority delude themselves that they represent the majority.  They imagine their audiences as vast and attentive.  But ranting into the homes of the desperately lonely improves nothing. And the vicarious companionship of false, imaginary friends is no substitute for caring conversatio...

A very important job for any supporter of vested interests is to keep the public ignorant of the facts about vested interests. We have been helping to keep the public ignorant since 1952 . Whenever a scandal arises, we decide who gets to know about it and the way in which they acquire that knowledge. On most occasions, we prefer not to present anyone with knowledge at all. Facts confuse the public.  Knowledge makes people think too much.  Thinking too much tends to influence decisions. We are meant to influence decisions.  Too much information in the public sphere is bad for business. Confusing the public about what is factual and what is not is a good business strategy and a good political strategy.  It is the only way to support vested interests properly. We prefer to confuse the most gullible members of the public by making them believe they are not confused at all. We profit greatly by telling gullible people that the tellers of truth are liars. We also profit gr...

To run the world, it is first necessary to ruin the news, and possibly even The News . News Crap has a long and proud history of ruining everything, especially by running incompetent governments and hacking phones . We've been doing it since 1952, with a little help from the Playmander , plenty of propaganda and technical assistance through the Adelaide GPO . We specialise in ruining careers, ruining romances, spreading gossip and destroying democracies. Real news suppliers have a watchdog role . News Crap, instead, allows its tabloidian minions to hound the innocent, dismantle democracy, ridicule reasonableness, indoctrinate the gullible and prevent media diversity .